Awkward Family Album Cover

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I've been giggling over this site all morning. Enjoy!

One of the communities in the LJ spotlight is a real hoot. Check it out:

http://community.livejournal.com/thrifthorror/

No time for chit chat now...more later.

Total Literal Video presents....Total Eclipse of the Heart.



the crying...can't stop...must breathe....

True glamour never fades. Amen girl! To illustrate this point I enter into evidence the one-sheet for the upcoming HBO film Grey Gardens . Behold it’s glory…

What a great poster! I’ll probably go on and on about this until it airs because I think it will truly be something special. As a gay man from the South I am not at all surprised that I am drawn to this film and story. As Julia Sugarbaker once said so eloquently “In the South we don’t ask if you have crazy people in your family, we just ask which side they're on.” We love our crazy relatives and we love strong women, and Grey Gardens has both even if they are Yankees.

It has been one of those weeks where I remember my dreams vividly for days after, and they've been especially odd lately. One of them involved me as some sort of law enforcement officer chasing a killer who turned out to be an old woman who was gathering an army of large insects in her attic. And by large insects I mean foot-long ants and moths with 5 foot wingspans. Another dream had me in a creative writing class taught by the guidance counselor from Freaks and Geeks. I had turned in a chapter from a novel called Carniverous which made no sense at all. The class loved it.

My holiday was nice. We didn't do much. Husband and I made the usual rounds to various family gatherings around town. I spent Christmas night with my buddy Dean in town from Florida. We went in search of beer and munchies and wound up at a Hooters that wasn't selling alcohol. Pointless if you ask me. I got some cool stuff including some Blu-Ray happiness and shiny new iPod Classic.

For New Years's Eve we stayed in and Watched season 1 of Heroes. Good stuff so far. I know nothing about how this season ends so all you just hush up about it. Instead let's discuss Milo's perfect hair. I had hair like that once.

I seem to have misplaced the headphones that came with my new iPod. The lack of a soundtrack is making work unbearable today.

No resolutions this year. Just onward and upwards.

I was on CNN.com today schooling myself on the latest newsworthy developments and I noticed an ad in the sidebar that made me say WTF.



I'll admit I chuckled when I saw it. My guess is any girl who takes this quiz probably knows the answer to the question already. Curious, I decided to take it myself. I've no doubt my husband is gay because...well...I'm a man last I checked and he seems fairly into that sort of thing. I wanted to see what sort of criteria these fine people were using to reach their conclusions.

( These questions are something else... )

So when we got our tickets to the Sticky and Sweet Tour back in the spring they were for row P. Thanks to the 'new Madonna alphabet' and miscalculations regarding the size of the stage and catwalk, row P became row F. That's right...5th row.

( this way to fierceness )

I think this photo sums up last nights' debate nicely.

(Senator McCain reacts to the taste of his own foot)

When I was a tiny little dramaqueer my grandmother on my father's side gave me a bunch of books that had belonged to my uncle. They were all your typical storybooks from that period. "The Little Engine That Could" was among them. And so was a book called "Little Black Sambo". I had forgotten completely about it so when I found it at the bottom of the stack I could hardly believe it. Its a 1955 edition, and not in super shape unfortunately. But the binding has held all these years even if the pages are a bit yellow.

I was almost afraid to open it though. I could only imagine just how appalling this story was going to be to me at age 37. Little Black Sambo? This couldn't be good, so naturally I had to scan some of it to share with you fine people.

( images lie within )

I'll admit I had a few tense moments on my drive home Monday night as my fuel indicator flashed urgently and I couldn't find any stations with any gas. I did finally see one, but it was $4.59 for regular and the line of cars was snaked out onto the highway. I would run out in line if I waited, so that was a no-go. I decided I'd go home and use what gas I had left in my spare gas can. I had a gallon and a half maybe...roughly 55 miles of driving...which would get me through a couple of days of commuting. The news telling me that there might not be gas for ten more days so I was understandably a bit worried. To add to the panic my Grandmother called and forecast the End of Days again. Surely the economy would collapse and devils would rise from the sewers if Bush didn't give us gas soon. I thought of a Bush/gas joke but decided it would be lost on her. She did offer to cook for us should we run out of gas AND food during the next few weeks. Nevermind that Publix is only a few blocks from my house and I'm not crippled. Lordy, and I wonder where I get my dramatic tendencies from. Speaking of drama, I phoned The Marj to see if carpooling was an option should the situation turn dire. I knew the answer but one doesn't like to assume. Plan B was secured. I found some gas later that night at a station down the road with NO LINES NO WAITING! I guess gas panic ends at 8pm.

Things are ever so slightly better today. I passed 3 stations with at least one grade of gas for sale. Premium is going for $4.29 and standard for $4.09 and the lines were pretty long. . I don't need to fill up yet and plan to work from home tomorrow. They say it could be end of next week before supplies get back to normal. I suspect this weekend things will turn around, but you never know. Its just madness.

I feel a bit unsettled thanks to this latest crisis. It feels like the bottom is about to fall out or something. I don't worry as much about the gas as I do this economic bailout nonsense. When I spend money I don't have it never ends well. If WHEN Obama wins he has quite a struggle ahead of him. IF that other guy wins...well, the horror of that thought is just too much to bear. I may move in with my rural cousins in Jasper and go off the grid.

In news of the idiotic, I caught and episode of The Rachel Zoe Project last night and am all the stupider for having watched it. Yet I feel compelled to watch again. The fashion world is alien to me. I see things I would expect to see on the National Geographic channel. The Lost Tribes or BoyChildren of Norway or something. I don't get it at all. The models look like pre-teen boys who have been confined to closets all their lives. Gimme Cindy Crawford any day.

Savannah was great! The city that never disappoints. Okay well almost never. I try to forget our doomed excursion to the Garden City back in 2004. The very mention of Dublin, GA makes me want to weep uncontrollably. Any trip to Savannah would be better than that one. This time around it was just me and my friend Sam. We have a long history of weekends in Savannah. Drama and unpleasantness ended our yearly trips many years ago so it was nice to rekindle this tradition.

Savannah is also a city that never, ever changes. A new building may pop up here and there, but they are rare...and when they do you'd be hard pressed to tell it apart from its century-old neighbor once complete. I love this city for that very reason The moss in the trees seems like it could be the same moss that was swaying gently back and forth above our heads during our first trip back in 1994. We pick new streets to explore each time but we always seem to end up at the same places; the same houses; the same lazy squares.

Somehow on this trip we managed to be in Savannah during Gay PrideFest. This strikes me as odd since I've never heard of Gay Pride in September. Wasn't Stonewall in June? Savannah's Gay PrideFest is a tiny little festival, occupying just one square a block from busy Bay Street. The rainbow flags and the dance music gave it away of course. Madonna's "Like a Prayer" was wafting down the alley and naturally we were forced to investigate. We did a lap and I thought it strange and just a touch presumptuous to have huge boxes of ID LUBE every ten feet or so. Savannah's gay pride seemed to be attended mostly by lesbians, and even if several dozen bus loads of men fresh from the White Party showed up still couldn't see how they would need what had to be thousands of tubes of lubricant. A little goes a long way. Turns out these were trash cans. Boy did I feel stupid. The token leather daddies were wandering around in their chaps. Just the two of them though. I think they must be hired by festivals around the nation so that their particular demographic was represented. Also strolling through Johnson Square were the various elderly couples who were drawn by the pretty colors and music, looking a bit befuddled. Gay Pride wound up sort of setting the tone of the weekend. We found out we missed a performance by The Lady Chablis and Lady Bunny because we had dinner reservations.

And speaking of dinner, this was the perfect end to a week of meals that I won't soon forget. I had shrimp and grits at Bistro, French Toast at Clary's and some scallops at Elizabeth's that literally made me moan. I also had a box of pralines from River Street Sweets waiting on me back in the room each night. I ate so many of them I had to go back on Sunday so I would have some to bring Tim.

We did some shopping too of course, and this brings me to the portion of our presentation where there will be visual aids. Instead of the usual touristy places that sell tshirts with lighthouses on them, we fished around junk shops and antique stores. The junk shops didn't yield much other than life-size statues of the Blues Brothers and well-loved copies of Christmas With Mahalia on dusty warped vinyl. The antique stores we found were far more lucrative. They were packed with little treasures...such as this...

( large picturesque type things lay beyond here ya'll )

In honor of the anniversary I thought I'd post my favorite Mike Luckovich cartoon.

The Leslie Jordan show was fabulous of course. He talked about the usual stuff; his first few acting gigs, being not just gay but flamboyantly so in 1980s Hollywood and the roles that made him famous (Sordid Lives and Will & Grace). His best stories were about his family though, and specifically his grandmother who gave him some of the best southern colloquialisms I've heard in a while. They had me in tears. Before the show we had a yummy dinner at Tamarind Seed and killed some more time over a couple of Coconut Mojitos at Shout. $10 for a cocktail is just crazy though. No wonder I don't go out drinking very often.

Saturday is usually my errand day but since Tim was off I decided to take it easy. I shut the blinds, turned off the phone and make myself very comfortable on the sofa. I watched more movies than I care to count. Airport, Airport 75, Air Force One (I didn't intend to watch this, but it is so easy to get sucked in), Starship Troopers and all 4 hours of The Andromeda Strain.

Boy howdy those Airport films are a bit tedious and long winded aren't they? It has been years since I've seen any of them. The first one spends over an hour in character development before anything at all happens. And Dean Martin's cocky airline pilot was greasy and gross. I fail to see why anyone would have been attracted to him, much less a perky-bosomed stewardess like Jacqueline Bissett. Maureen Stapleton was very good as the wife of the would-be terrorist. Her performance at the gate as the passengers her husband nearly killed disembark was gut wrenching.



Airport 75 was even stranger. This was the film which Airplane borrowed much of its plot from a few years later. It featured Helly Reddy as a guitar playing nun who spent most of the flight entertaining Linda Blair who was on her way to LA for a kidney transplant. Seems to me it would have been easier and safer to fly the kidney to Washington DC instead of the other way around. Also on this doomed jet is Miss Gloria Swanson playing herself. In the worlds most expensive product plug she spends the whole flight regaling her flying companion with stories from her career which she plans to include in her autobiography. Whether by coincidence or not, Nancy Olson, one of Miss Swanson's costars from Sunset Boulevard, played the Linda Blair character's mother. They raised the ante a bit nature of the danger the passengers were in, and things got moving a bit faster than in the first film thankfully. But it still could have been about 30 minutes shorter and have fewer shots of Karen Black looking constipated. It also suffered from not nearly enough shots of Charleton Heston shouting at damn dirty apes. There are two more films in the set, Airport 77 and Concorde! Airport 79. I hope to knock those out while I am in California next week.

Tonight is Leslie Jordan!



Tim took me to see his previous show "Like A Dog on Linoleum" back in 2006 as a birthday present. The show was just a few days after my father passed away and the laughter really did me some good I think. I am really looking forward to seeing him again. It'll be a nice ending to a fairly hectic week at work. We are stopping in at Tamarind for some Thai food before the show. Should be a fun evening.

Work has been crazy busy but its a good busy if that makes sense. I'm being sent out to Irvine, California along with a half-dozen other folks a week from Monday for 4 days of sun and fun work and meetings and more work. The hotel looks nice and swanky and I expect we'll be taking full advantage of the complimentary happy hour for business travelers from 5-7 each night. I also expect I'll be treated to a few nice dinners on the company's dime. Seafood YAY! I arrive back in Atlanta on the evening of the 18th and then leave early the next morning for Savannah....weather permitting. (Josephine I'm lookin at YOU)

Have a nice weekend y'all!

My home office looks out the front of our house so when I'm goofing off online I am also half-watching the people who meander down our street. The number of pedestrians in my neighborhood has increased quite a bit in the past 2 or 3 years. On Sunday afternoons there is an endless stream of strollers and dog walkers passing by. Every now and then a group of teenagers with their jeans down around their knees will appear. And the old drunk man on the Rascal Scooter makes his daily trip to Rite-Aid like clockwork. We know he's drunk because he has trouble steering the scooter and often runs into signs and trees and things. He has also been known to carry his bottle of Boone's Farm with him on his little trips. A few months ago he drove his rascal right off the road and into my grandparents' ditch in front of a passing policeman. This amused me greatly.

Yesterday I witnessed a group of teenage boys trying to ride their bicycles backwards. I don't mean simply going in reverse, I mean actually sitting backwards on the bike and pedaling. As you can imagine this did not go well at all. Two of them never quite got it going and would fall over immediately. The third managed to get pedal about six feet before he slipped off the seat and seriously endangered his chances of every having children. The other two laughed uproariously at this, as I would have when I was their age and did yesterday as well. The kid was a trooper though. He put on a brave, albeit red face and pushed his bike on up the street while the others rode around him circles taunting. Ah youth.

Saturday I picked husband up and we drove down to Cabbagetown to have dinner at Sam and Steve's. Our buddy Lori from our Blockbuster days was there as well. We ran across each other on Facebook a few months back and have started hanging out again. It is great fun. We had a yummy dinner and watched a tacky old "horror" film called The Devil's Wedding Night hosted by Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. This was a real piece of work.

( there be spoilers here...not that I ever think any of you will ever see this movie, and if you do I doubt you'll care that I ruined the big twist, but just in case I am cutting them so there won't be any bitching )

Today, while I should have been working, I had a fabulous idea for the next big Hollywood sequel. And by fabulous I mean "Neal is being silly again".





Stella Johnson (Barbara Eden) returns to her hometown as head surgeon at Harper Valley General Hospital. Soon after, patients start dying horrible deaths. Are they accidents? The townspeople don't think so, especially not Flora Simpson Riley (Eileen Stritch) who is keeping a close eye on her old rival.

Meanwhile her spinster daughter Dee (Charlene Tilton) seems to have found love with the towns hunky sheriff Rod Manning (Eddie Cibrian). But what is Nurse Horowitz (Cloris Leachman) hiding in her woodshed?

Featuring the number one hit "Harper Valley D.O.A" by Ashlee Simpson.

I need help.

I'm a bit of a car geek. I get excited when the new concepts start coming out. I remember back in 88 I wanted a Pontiac Banshee more than anything in the world.



Look at the ass on that thing? It is a bit dated now, but still a cool car. I think they used one of these in one of the Knight Rider movies actually. Lately I've been watching the development of the next generation hybrids with much enthusiasm. I plan on keeping my Yaris until I pay it off, which I hope to manage to do a couple of years early. I figure by then there will be a few more hybrids out there to choose from. The Prius is cool and all, and I'd gladly own one...but I like unique cars which explains why I've owned so many Saturns. This brings me to...



( cut for you non-car geeks )

I don't think I was prepared for how exposed my house feels now that those big trees are gone. When I took Maddy out last night after work I felt like I was on a stage. Our house sits on a slight ridge so without the trees behind us we look down across the rooftops. It was a bit sad seeing the big oak lying on its side in pieces. Maddy was visibly disturbed as well. She approached the remains of the tree very cautiously, sniffing and on alert. It never occurred to me that she would be confused. If I was a smart man I would have had them slice off a 2 inch layer of the trunk for me to keep and make into a table or something someday. It would be gorgeous all sanded and varnished with some spiffy legs on it. I don't think ahead like that though, and chances are its all gone into the chipper by now. Maybe we can do that before we have the stump ground down.

On the upside the yard does look twice as big, and when everything is cleaned up I think it will be really nice. I hope to have a wood fence put up next year and some mild landscaping done to make it look a bit more finished back there. We are going to plant a couple of new trees soon, but we haven't decided what yet. No Oaks, and definitely no Sweet Gums. I'd like something that flowers, like a pear tree or some Dogwoods..maybe a magnolia so I can lounge beneath it while sipping a Mint Julip.

My stars, this is a boring entry.

I am finally having those problematic trees in my back yard removed. I thought I should commemorate the occasion with some photos. Warning...big photos lurk within.

( Big Tree )

My pal Sam and I have started making reservations/official arrangements for our trip to Savannah next month. The hotel we had planned on staying in is being difficult, so we may stay here instead. It is a tad more expensive but it was featured on a show called Haunted Savannah this past weekend so I kinda hope we end up there. The hotel was used as a hospital during Sherman's occupation of the city during the "unpleasantness" and apparently the basement was stacked high with bodies. I'll have to remember to pack my Ouija board.

Redrum.

I did some poking around at The Book Nook this weekend and walked away with the cast album for Andy Webber's Sunset Blvd! featuring Glenn Close. Seeing the movie again last week ignited my curiosity about the show. Plus, it features one of my all-time favorite songs from a Broadway show..."As If We Never Said Goodbye". The title song is a bit tedious though. "Sunset BULLLLLLevard....Sunset BULLLLevard!!!" I enjoyed it though, and that is saying something since my tolerance for this medium seems to have evaporated in recent years. Mercifully this show didn't suffer from that signature Webber style of having 18 people sing different lyrics at once. That was my main complaint with Phantom. I got so confused during "Prima Donna" the first time I saw the show. I hear that someone somewhere is doing a film version of Sunset which was delayed last year along with everything else when the writers went on strike. It is due to be out next year and reportedly Glenn Close will reprise her role as Norma Desmond. I also grabbed a copy of John Lahr's book "Prick Up Your Ears" which was the basis for one of the first "gay" movies I ever saw. I am looking forward to reading that one. I need to track down "The Diaries of Joe Orton" sometime as well.

I did get mildly annoyed with the credit policy at The Book Nook. I have $35 book credit there, and only purchased $16 worth. I had to pay $8 of it in cash because their credit policy is "half and half". I didn't see that posted anywhere and it is certainly not on the credit slip. Granted, I am still getting the same amount of credit...I just wasn't expecting to put out any cash that day. It would have been nice to know going in. I'll pay more attention next time.